4.Nicole — Cross (Part 4)
641 linesMR. AGNIFILO: Nicole, do you recall at some point being upset that you had changed your name a number of different times?
NICOLE: Yeah, I mean, I love my full name, but for acting like I would use my middle name for a little bit, my mom's maiden name, and then I wanted to go back to my last name. So -- but it's all my name. It's just...
MR. AGNIFILO: Were you concerned at one point that you had ruined your acting career by the way you changed your name?
NICOLE: Yeah, I just, like, thought I had made it a bit harder for people because I had used my middle name right at first and then I was, like, no, I'll just use my last name. And that's just a little bit confusing to casting directors and, like, the industry, because what are they going to call you. So there was a point in time where, like, I was really overly stressed out about that. Obviously, now, it's like not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but at the time it felt -- it was, it made it harder for, like, casting directors to make sense of things. So I really thought that, when my brain would spin out, I would think, like, oh, my God, what did I do? You know, you can always bounce back from things, but yeah, I just felt like that was not the smartest.
MR. AGNIFILO: Right. But, for a period of time, you were very distraught at the fact that you thought that you had changed your name to the degree that you had kind of really hurt your acting career?
NICOLE: Yeah, but honestly I think that was just me more stressed out about other things and, like, you know, sometimes when you make a small thing mean a huge thing because you are actually just stressed in general, but I made it be about that, which it wasn't necessarily about. I don't want to use the word projecting, but it is like displacing my anxiety and making it about like, oh, I made this mistake instead of, oh, I actually just don't know how to kind of move forward right now.
MR. AGNIFILO: And you agree with me, you made a big deal out of it in many things that you have said to people about changing your name and your acting career? I mean, you really focused on it as a potential thing that really set you back?
MR. AGNIFILO: What do you mean by loop on it?
MR. AGNIFILO: You were getting in trouble for not being ready, not answering ready when Allison would do readiness drills; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you know where the concept of readiness came from; correct?
MS. PENZA: Objection.
THE COURT: You may answer.
MR. AGNIFILO: Go ahead.
NICOLE: The way that it was first presented to me was that, like, the whole community would do readiness at 3:00 p.m. and, like, if someone wasn't ready, then they would make sure that they were okay in both the United States and in Mexico.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. Tell us about that, focus on the Mexico part.
MS. PENZA: Objection, Your Honor.
THE COURT: Can you lay a foundation for this?
MR. AGNIFILO: Sure.
MR. AGNIFILO: You had a specific understanding that readiness stemmed from Mexico; correct?
NICOLE: That was how the original, but our readiness was very different from that readiness. That readiness was one time a day, 3:00 p.m., you just checked in to say that you were ready and you were safe. The readiness that we had to do, we had to be ready 24 hours a day, wherever we are, and respond in sixty seconds so that -- what Allison said was so that we were constantly thinking about our commitment to The Vow and so it's, like, they knew where we were at all times, which was ridiculous.
MR. AGNIFILO: The general concept of readiness stemmed from Mexico; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you remember telling the FBI that --
MS. PENZA: Objection.
MR. AGNIFILO: -- it came from Mexico, that the idea came from Mexico?
MS. PENZA: Objection, Your Honor.
THE COURT: You may answer.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. We're going to look at something that's in evidence as 659. This is 11 pages of e-mails between you and Allison Mack. We're going to start on page 10.
This is an e-mail from May 12th and it is from you; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay, so just a couple of things. So you make reference here, all that drama in my head. What are you talking about there?
MR. AGNIFILO: And at the bottom, you say: I literally just want to eat everything in my fridge to feel better, LOL, and I want to run and hide. I'm not going to, but I'd like to.
Why do you write that?
NICOLE: I would assume that I was feeling very emotional and, you know, sometimes when you're emotional, like, you don't want to feel what you are feeling. So, you know, I was like I'd really love some chocolate.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right. Then from May 13th, it is on page 9 of the same exhibit, you write your goal is to be optimistic and trusting, to stop fighting so hard. First challenge, this job is not exactly turning out as I had planned or what was promised.
What job are you talking about there?
MR. AGNIFILO: And where were you working at the time?
MR. AGNIFILO: If you remember.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right. And you are saying you are not making as much as money as they told me we would and it's getting a little stressful.
Now, were you working full-time?
NICOLE: I was, yeah. Just sometimes, when you were working in the middle of the week, you wouldn't make as much on the weekends and, you know, it actually ended up being, like, overall fine. But, yeah, there were definitely stressful points, because any waiting-table circumstances you are at the -- it depends on how many people come in. It depends on how much money they're spending. You know, you can't predict that and it's -- yeah.
MR. AGNIFILO: Your income varies?
MR. AGNIFILO: About what were you making in May of 2016, at the -- is it a restaurant?
MR. AGNIFILO: What were you making about?
MR. AGNIFILO: Can you give me a ballpark?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay.
MR. AGNIFILO: 3,000 a month?
MR. AGNIFILO: All right. You had often said that you wanted to be a, quote, bad ass, right? Is that a term that you would use?
MR. AGNIFILO: What did you mean by that term?
NICOLE: I don't know. I guess it kind of means you, like, don't take crap from anyone or, like, you kind of know -- to me, that's someone who is, like, strong in, like, who they are and doesn't let... yeah, just someone who is -- who knows who they are and is strong and doesn't let someone else, like, make them feel bad or, like, tell them what to do. Or, I mean quite literally, like someone, like, who could fight and protect themselves. I mean, you know, as an actress, you are always kind of, like, it's really cool to be trained for a part like how to fight, actually. Especially when you're little.
MR. AGNIFILO: Right. Did you take martial arts when you were younger?
MR. AGNIFILO: For how long?
NICOLE: I got to be like a purple/brown belt. I don't know, a few years. I started when I was in third grade.
MR. AGNIFILO: Were you interested in pursuing other types of -- sort of like physical, you know, martial arts-type stuff when you were older?
NICOLE: Absolutely. Keith would say he's going to bring like Krav Maga -- I think that's how you say it -- champions to come and train us, which never happened.
MR. AGNIFILO: What is Krav Maga, for those of us who don't know?
MR. AGNIFILO: Like a martial arts-type of fighting?
NICOLE: Yes. I've actually never taken a class, so I don't totally know, but that's what I thought.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. All right. So we are going to go to page 7 of the same exhibit, and you write:
I had such a wonderful walk with Keith. It was really great and made me think about things and I felt comfortable and connected, which has been hard for me lately. It's all really got me thinking about what I want for my life. I woke up tired but happy.
You wrote that, right?
(Continued on following page.)
CROSS-EXAMINATION CONTINUES BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: All right, and this is from your journal May 18th, 2016?
MR. AGNIFILO: And then below it you say: I had a wonderful meeting with Geoffrey today.
Who's Geoffrey?
NICOLE: He is another actor and dancer that -- he worked with The Source, but he's also, I mean successful in his own right on Broadway.
MR. AGNIFILO: And then you go on to say: Not sure if it is the right thing for me to move forward with at the moment. Keith thought it might be a good opportunity, but also might be a distraction, so I'd like to talk things through with him a bit more, but Geoffrey and I had a wonderful talk and I left feeling so inspired.
Right?
MR. AGNIFILO: Yes, let me put it just all on one. Here you go.
(Pause.)
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. So, and one of the other things you write here is Allison is sort of being hard on you, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Going to the page 6 of the same exhibit.
(Exhibit published.)
MR. AGNIFILO: You write on May 19th, 2016: Today was a good day. Woke up to an obey text from A.
What is that?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay, and do you remember what it was?
NICOLE: Yeah, I say right after. I had to text for permission every time I wanted to eat something.
MR. AGNIFILO: And now you also said: I actually enjoyed the process of the day.
What do you mean by that, what's the process of the day?
NICOLE: I'm not sure, but I would say that sometimes what would happen that would make this more confusing is, like, you know, the first time you would have an exercise to do, like, yeah, it's weird -- it's really weird to have to text someone every time you eat, but you do, like, learn things.
So, again, like, it's not that I didn't learn something that day. Like, I was, like, oh, okay, like, maybe I ate mindlessly, you go by and you grab something, or whatever it is. It's like the first time you might learn something, but then it's like, do you want to do that for the rest of your life? No.
MR. AGNIFILO: Now, the last thing that you say in this paragraph is: Plus, I got insight into what I'm struggling with in terms of being submissive.
What are you referring to there?
NICOLE: So, yeah, I mean it was always just brought up that I was defiant and I wasn't good at listening or trust -- I wasn't good at trusting them. So being submissive was part of trusting Allison. It was part of the relationship.
MR. AGNIFILO: What specific conversation did you have with either Keith or Allison about you and being submissive?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. Did you have a conversation with Keith at any point about a fantasy that you had?
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you ever have a conversation with Keith about a fantasy of being submissive?
MS. PENZA: Objection.
MR. AGNIFILO: You don't think so --
THE COURT: That's overruled. Go ahead.
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: So you said you don't think so?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. Are you sure you didn't?
MR. AGNIFILO: You're sure you never had a conversation with Keith about a fantasy that you had about being submissive?
THE COURT: All right, next question then. Three times and you're done.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right.
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: So this particular passage: I got insights into what I'm struggling with in terms of being submissive; what are you referring to?
MR. AGNIFILO: You then go on to say: I had a great Source workout this morning. We explored fear. I'm getting better and better at leading sliders and Eduardo and I had a great point talk.
Who's Eduardo?
NICOLE: He was another kind of like teacher that worked with The Source and I worked with him a lot.
MR. AGNIFILO: And what's -- you say a great point talk.
What is that?
NICOLE: Point talks were, like, we would watch a movie and then you talk about the point of the movie. So why the movie was written, what the writer was trying to say, which I -- I really enjoyed. You know, I had before and I still continue after, like watching movies and then trying to understand why the movie was written, why it was created, what thought the writer or the director, the message that they were trying to say with the movie.
MR. AGNIFILO: And then you write, and you're talking about Eduardo here: And he called me out on how I start to go deep and then pull away and go the surface again. It was a good insight.
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you think that was true, did you think that was a good insight?
MR. AGNIFILO: All right, we are going to go to the next page of the exhibit. It's page 5. And you write an entry here at May 22nd -- May 22nd, 5:46 a.m.
You're up late at night quite frequently, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Right. And here you say: Two shifts, twelve hours, high heels, skintight dress, popping one-thousand-dollar bottles, yep, that was my night. How was yours?
How often would you work at the nightclub in a week?
NICOLE: Sometimes, like -- sometimes five days, sometimes four. It depends on when they scheduled me.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. All right, page 4 of the same exhibit. We'll start down here (indicating) May 23rd.
I realized I'm filled with anger. Anger at my situation, anger at myself, but that I am also choosing to be angry and that I can choose to feel something else.
I think you talked about this on direct examination if I'm not mistaken?
MR. AGNIFILO: Right. Now, what are you angry about?
MR. AGNIFILO: What situation is that?
MR. AGNIFILO: You agree with me you don't say that, right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And on many occasions you expressed anger with your acting career, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Weren't you angry at the fact that you felt that you damaged your acting career by how you changed your name?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay, so angry at yourself.
You've been angry at yourself, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Right. And you were angry at yourself from time to time before you ever joined The Vow, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you were angry at your living situation in the city, right?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay, so we are going to go to the first page of this exhibit.
(Exhibit published.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: It's 6:00 a.m. I'm just getting back -- I'm just getting to bed and I'm insanely angry right now, beyond angry because, once again, I've gotten back to the city and my life is a mess here.
Right; that's what you wrote?
NICOLE: Yeah, because Allison was -- I had just moved and on every day off Allison was having me come up to Albany and I didn't have any time to unpack my stuff. And I'm like, definitely a person that I need my space organized so that I can think straight. So my living situation was -- was like my roommate and where we lived was great, but I couldn't unpack my stuff.
MR. AGNIFILO: And you're angry about it?
NICOLE: Yeah, I am angry about it. It's making me -- it's making my life very hard to, like, navigate.
MR. AGNIFILO: And you go on to say: Nothing is organized and I have so much to catch up on. Right?
MR. AGNIFILO: So what you're angry about here on June 1st, in terms of the city, is that different than what you're angry about on May 23rd, 2016?
NICOLE: Well, I would say -- I would say all of this anger is, like, displaced. I'm angry at the situation. I mean I say it right there.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right, we are going to go to page -- actually, we'll go up here (indicating.) This is from May 25th.
You say: I feel alive today. I feel like I am reconnecting with a part of myself that I've been disconnected from for the last couple months.
Was that true?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And then kind of in the middle of that paragraph you say: We had a great ongoing workout today.
What kind of workout? Do you remember what kind of workout you had?
MR. AGNIFILO: Oh, please, take your time.
(Pause.)
MR. AGNIFILO: What was the workout?
NICOLE: Yeah, if I remember correctly, I think that Allison was teaching another, like, ongoing Source and that I went up to help, but an ongoing workout would be a Source workout.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And then you say after that: And then watched one of Keith's forums and then had another workout. Right?
NICOLE: Yeah, that's why I think that it was, like, another kind of -- I don't remember what the difference was called, but like a, like, three-week course. Like, not an ongoing once a week, but like a three-week because Emi was taking it that time and I came up for a few days and, like, sat in on the classes.
MR. AGNIFILO: And Emi is Emiliano?
MR. AGNIFILO: And then we are going to go to the top. It starts on the previous page, so let me show you that. So page 3 of the same exhibit.
(Exhibit published.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: It's an entry you have from May 25th, 2016. Do you see that?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And I'm looking at the bottom line there. You write: I had a great and challenging talk with KR today.
Do you remember it?
MR. AGNIFILO: Yes. I know it's a long time ago. No?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you go to say: He gave me the submission --
MR. AGNIFILO: Sorry, right. "A" gave me the mission of putting myself in a vulnerable position and submitting to KR and wherever the walk led, which I did. It led many places and I was completely exhausted by the end of it.
What are you talking about?
MR. AGNIFILO: Because you write: Submitting to KR and wherever the walk led.
Where did the walk lead?
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you think that might have been what happened with the table?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. Was that what you were about to say, because you were going to say something and then you stopped.
Is that what you were going to say?
MR. AGNIFILO: About the table.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. So you say: Wherever the walk led, which I did. It led many places.
Are you talking about geographic places or are you talking about emotional places? What places?
MR. AGNIFILO: And then you say: And I was completely exhausted by the end of it.
Right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And this is, this is an entry, just so we're clear, on May 25th, 2016, right?
(Exhibit published.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: I'll do it so you can see it all in one shot.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right.
Now, going back to the first page of this exhibit, I know we've read the first part of it, but I just want to go through the whole thing and then I have a couple questions for you.
This is a journal entry from May the 31st at 6:00 a.m. You say: It's 6:00 a.m. I'm just getting to bed and I'm insanely angry right now, beyond angry because, once again, I've gotten back to the city and my life is a mess here, nothing is organized and I have so much to catch up on. I was so on board with the convo "A" and I had this morning about the benefits of coming to Albany and taking full advantage of the time I have up there, watching movies and working in my art. And I am done fighting the growing process, it's obviously good for me. And even though it's very emotional and uncomfortable, I can feel it helping. I'm excited about embracing The Vow and working more with Keith.
When you say "working more with Keith," what are you talking about?
NICOLE: Like I said in my direct, after what happened, I guess it seemed like I passed some kind of test and Keith was interested in, like, working on life stuff with me more. Like, I don't know, this is just what Allison had told me.
MR. AGNIFILO: But here you're not talking about whether Keith wants to do something or not, you're saying: I'm excited about embracing The Vow and working more with Keith.
You're talking about yourself in this passage, correct?
NICOLE: Right. But where did I get that from? It was Allison saying, like, Keith wanted to work more with me.
MR. AGNIFILO: But you agree with me that when you have a criticism about something that Allison is doing, you're not shy about telling Allison your criticism?
NICOLE: That's not true. I was -- I -- I tend to -- actually, I'm, like, surprised sometimes. But no, I was always careful that if I -- you know, it's like walking on eggshells. So you're always careful about how much you're saying and how not to, like -- well, 'cause if I pushed her too far I would have to, like, do some kind of punishment or who knows what she would say. And it was always, like -- I was always trying to placate the situation and --
MR. AGNIFILO: You're back in the city when you write this, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And what, you have a computer and you sit at your computer and you write these journal entries?
NICOLE: Sometimes I would write them on the -- so I'd take the subway home from work and sometimes you have to wait, like, you know, at night you have to wait half an hour or something for the subway, so I would write them on my phone sometimes when I was waiting for the subway.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay, but you chose, though, you chose to actually write that you were excited about working more with Keith.
You chose to write those words, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: But then you say: But coming back every week to an unorganized home and hectic life here feels so awful, words cannot even express how stressful and bad it feels to me. It makes me hate the whole growing process because I can't catch up and it fills my whole body with this raged up anger and pain, which clearly feels awful.
Right, you write this?
MR. AGNIFILO: Now, you're saying that when you wrote this, I think you said on direct examination that what you described happened on the table had only happened within a day or so beforehand, correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And what you write, what you choose to write on your computer when you're in New York City is: I'm excited about embracing The Vow and working more with Keith.
Right, that's what you wrote?
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you remember learning around the first week of June that Keith was involved in The Vow?
MR. AGNIFILO: And how exactly did you learn that?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And tell us about the circumstances under which he told you.
NICOLE: I believe I already said it in direct, but he took me to the library and, like, sat me down and told me.
MR. AGNIFILO: And what did he say?
MS. PENZA: Objection.
THE COURT: You may answer.
NICOLE: Just that he was Allison's master, which made him my grand master. And I think this might have been when he started calling it DOS, but I could be wrong. I'm not a hundred percent on that.
And just he told me a little bit about what The Vow was. That's it.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay.
Now, when did the two of you, you and Keith, start an intimate relationship?
NICOLE: I don't -- it was -- I don't remember exactly. I think it was like two walks later that he first kissed me, but I don't remember after that. I don't remember when anything started to get, like -- when anything else happened.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay.
And you alluded to this on direct examination, did he have trouble maintaining an erection?
MR. AGNIFILO: Not all the time?
MR. AGNIFILO: I understand. Well, I'm only asking about when you're with him.
MR. AGNIFILO: But you had -- you and he had --
THE COURT: I'm sorry. Let me just.
MR. AGNIFILO: Yes.
THE COURT: I want to caution the gallery that they are not to make any sounds, comments, remarks of any kind. This is a very serious matter and it must be taken with the greatest sense of probity. So I don't want to have to say that again. I appreciate everyone's cooperation.
So go ahead.
MR. AGNIFILO: Thank you, Your Honor.
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: You and Keith had sexual intercourse?
MR. AGNIFILO: Was it -- do you remember how many times that you actually had sexual intercourse?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay.
(Continued on the following page.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: And I think you said on direct examination and I will only ask a few more questions on this and then we will move on, but I think you said on direct examination that you and Keith had oral sex; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And that was in both directions?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. I think you said at one point you realized that Allison had other slaves; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And when about did you first know that?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And how did you find out about India?
MR. AGNIFILO: India did?
MR. AGNIFILO: And that was the first -- that was the first person you found out was a different one of Allison's slaves; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And do you remember the next person? And just use first names just so we're careful.
MR. AGNIFILO: One second, Judge. May I have a moment?
THE COURT: Surely.
(Pause in proceedings.)
MR. AGNIFILO: Thank you.
I'm going to mark for identification, just for the witness and the parties, Defendant's Exhibit 941.
THE COURT: That is Government's --
MR. AGNIFILO: No, Judge, defense 941.
THE COURT: Okay.
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: Can you see who's in that photograph?
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, we offer it at this point as Defendant's 941.
MS. PENZA: No objection.
THE COURT: Defendant's 941 is received in evidence and published to the jury.
(Defendant's Exhibit 941 received in evidence.)
(Exhibit published.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: Can you tell us who that is, everyone in that photo?
MR. AGNIFILO: Who is that?
NICOLE: That's Danielle, that's Jay, that's Michele, India, Valerie and I can't -- I can't really tell. I want to say that's Souki, but I can't tell. That person right here in glasses. It's not very clear who she is.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right. That's fine. Okay. And so who are all of these people to you?
MR. AGNIFILO: So you mentioned India. This is India; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you said India was the first other person that you knew of that was another one of Allison's slaves; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And then above her is Michele; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And Michele was another one of Allison's slaves as well; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And this is Jay, you said? And who brought Jay in?
MR. AGNIFILO: And this is Danielle; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And I think you said Danielle was a doctor?
MR. AGNIFILO: And Danielle did the brandings?
MR. AGNIFILO: And who did you say this was?
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, may I give the witness the original? It might be clearer.
THE COURT: Of course.
MR. AGNIFILO: Thank you.
(Counsel approaches.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: Now that you have the original, just take a look at it and tell me if you think it's Souki?
MR. AGNIFILO: I can take it. Thank you very much.
I want to show you another picture just for identification as 942.
THE COURT: Go ahead.
MR. AGNIFILO: Defense Exhibit 942, can you see who's in that photograph?
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, we offer it as 942.
MS. PENZA: No objection.
THE COURT: Exhibit -- Defendant's Exhibit 942 is received in evidence.
(Defendant's Exhibit 942 received in evidence.)
(Exhibit published.)
THE COURT: Go ahead.
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: And who is in that photograph?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And I'm going to show you 943.
MR. AGNIFILO: Just for identification, Judge.
THE COURT: Hold on.
MR. AGNIFILO: Yup.
THE COURT: Go ahead.
MR. AGNIFILO: 943. Do you recognize who's in that photograph; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: We offer it as 943.
MS. PENZA: No objection.
THE COURT: Defendant's Exhibit 943 is received in evidence.
(Defendant's Exhibit 943 received in evidence.)
(Exhibit published.)
MR. AGNIFILO: I'm not sure if we can publish it.
THE COURT: Sure.
(Exhibit published.)
THE COURT: Okay.
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: So, that's who?
MR. AGNIFILO: That's who?
MR. AGNIFILO: And that is?
MR. AGNIFILO: Now, you said at one point some of you guys went to Michele's house in the Berkshires; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And who went exactly?
MR. AGNIFILO: And is this the first time that you guys as a group had done anything like this?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you drove up?
MR. AGNIFILO: You have to answer yes or no.
MR. AGNIFILO: And I think you said you went hiking?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you said you liked that, you like hiking?
MR. AGNIFILO: You're fairly outdoorsy, fair to say?
MR. AGNIFILO: You're a good skier?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you ski with your family out west; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you like hiking, you like being outside; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And what was -- it was for a weekend?
MR. AGNIFILO: Was the weekend fun?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. You guys had fun together; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: I'm not saying that every moment of any relationship is always fun, but you guys enjoyed each others' company; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you guys had long talks about life and your dreams and each other; right?
NICOLE: Well, we had one lunch where basically it was just, like, a shaming session or, like, Allison would point out where each one of us was doing things wrong or was like should be ashamed and that was not fun.
MR. AGNIFILO: And were there times when this would happen, even these sort of sessions, that you guys would laugh good naturedly (sic) at what was happening?
MR. AGNIFILO: All right. And Allison was doing it to all of you; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: So I think in one of the exhibits we looked at in direct examination, they referred to you as The Brat?
MR. AGNIFILO: And how did you get that nickname?
MR. AGNIFILO: And India was The Princess?
MR. AGNIFILO: And how did she get that nickname?
NICOLE: I think part of it was sort of a play on that, like, she had actual, like, actual royalty blood or she was a descendent of someone in actuality. I don't remember where her grandmother was from. And then the other part was then -- like, apparently, you know, India only liked doing what she liked to do. Like, which I didn't really get from her. But, yeah, that she was, like a princess. She was spoiled, she grew up in Los Angeles and things like that. I'm not sure.
MR. AGNIFILO: I think that on direct examination you looked at Government Exhibit 653. 653 is in evidence.
(Exhibit published.)
MR. AGNIFILO: This is from Allison to you and Michele and India and Danielle?
MR. AGNIFILO: And just so it's clear, the Danielle that we're talking about here is not Daniella Padilla; that's a different person?
MR. AGNIFILO: And Allison writes, "The past three days were profound for me. I understood what it meant to be responsible."
This is right after your Berkshire trip; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And do you remember the Berkshires being in October of 2016?
MR. AGNIFILO: The leaves were changing?
MR. AGNIFILO: And she goes on to write, "I understood what it meant to be responsible. I understood what it meant to be vulnerable. I met you for what felt like the first time and I understood me because I understand you."
Do you believe that Allison was genuinely looking out for your best interests?
MS. PENZA: Objection.
THE COURT: You can answer.
MR. AGNIFILO: And did you feel that way at the time?
NICOLE: Through the entire process I wanted to believe that and I wanted to trust her, but, no, I did not think that.
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. Now, Allison spent a great deal of time with you, correct; talking to you, e-mailing you, getting your journal entries; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And do you recall if you pretty much sent her journal entries every day if not -- I mean, every day pretty much?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you did?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you wrote -- sometimes you would write a page or more and sometimes you would write half a page; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: So you go to the second page of the same document. She writes to you, "Please have your commitment for the week written and submitted before the end of the day tomorrow." Do you see that there?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And then we have different entries. We have "The Princess, 500 calories, no food post 5 p.m. unless permission granted by M." That's Allison; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Yeah. "500 calories, no food post 5 p.m. unless permission by M"; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: An M is who?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And then, "M, 600 calories, no food post 5 p.m. unless permission granted by my M"; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And by this point you know that's Keith?
MR. AGNIFILO: And she goes on to say, "My M reminded me today that I had given my word I would remain under 600 calories as a discipline until I reached 106 pounds. I got prideful and conveniently forgot this commitment because it didn't suit me at the moment. This is very bad and I will fix it by maintaining this count as precisely as I can, no matter the circumstances or location." That's what she writes; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: The Clown. Who is The Clown?
MR. AGNIFILO: And there's just question marks. There's no entry. The Brawn is who?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. Now, Danielle was sort of in very good shape, correct, physical shape?
NICOLE: Yes. She taught exo|eso. So she was, like, did sort of yoga. She was in great shape. She danced as well.
MR. AGNIFILO: What's exo|eso?
MR. AGNIFILO: I think you said that you felt India was on a 500-calorie diet for a year?
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you recall if she was on a 500-calorie diet for a much more limited period of time for a specific reason?
NICOLE: Well, she was on -- so, she was on it to get to, I think, 107, if I'm remembering correctly, and I don't even know if she actually ever did get to that. So then it would be like -- it was just an ongoing thing because she wasn't getting there, as far as I understood.
MR. AGNIFILO: Now --
MR. AGNIFILO: Now, at this point in time you're still in an intimate relationship with Keith; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: So we're talking the end of the October 2016.
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you remember writing him an e-mail on the same day that this e-mail was written that you miss him?
MR. AGNIFILO: Just for the witness -- identification, Exhibit 929, Defense 929.
MR. AGNIFILO: Do me a favor don't read it out loud. Just read it to yourself.
MR. AGNIFILO: So, do you remember telling him om October 29th that you miss him?
NICOLE: Yes, but if you read the whole e-mail it's, "I think I must be starting to trust you more," which, like, if you really pay attention to what's going on, Allison was always telling me to trust him. It was always about trusting him and Allison. And so, like, yeah, I was probably trying to give in and trust him and let down my guard a little bit.
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, I would offer this as Defense Exhibit 929.
MS. PENZA: The Government objects.
THE COURT: I will allow it.
(Defendant's Exhibit 929 received in evidence.)
(Exhibit published.)
BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: Just so it's clear, this is Defendant's Exhibit 929. It's from you to Keith Raniere; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And it says, "Raindrops of trust," and you say, "I think I must be starting to trust you more. You're on my mind as much as you usually are, which is quite often, but now I'm actually letting myself miss you, so yeah, but that is my long-winded way of saying I miss you, that I am looking forward to seeing you this coming week and that I am thinking of you as you make the hard decision you're faced with from now until Monday, sending you and Pam love; right?
(Continued on the following page.)
CROSS-EXAMINATION (Continuing) BY MR. AGNIFILO:
MR. AGNIFILO: Why did you write the last part, sending you and Pam love?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And Pam would die shortly after you wrote this; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you know Pam?
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you and Keith talk about Pam?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And that didn't upset you or make you jealous in any way, correct, that he would talk about Pam a lot to you?
MR. AGNIFILO: And, so, what you're saying here is that you miss him and you look forward to seeing him this coming week. Did you mean that when you wrote that to him?
NICOLE: Yeah, I guess this would probably be one of the times when I was just trying to -- yeah, I was trying to be really supportive. I think it is hard when somebody is losing somebody and I was -- it makes me really sad now, but I was really trying, and I was really trying to trust him and I was really trying to support him and I didn't...yeah.
MR. AGNIFILO: And I understand you feel differently now, but at the time, you cared for him?
NICOLE: I'm a very empathetic person. I don't know that I -- like -- I don't know. I always felt a little conflict. Well, more than a little, but....
MR. AGNIFILO: But you?
MR. AGNIFILO: But you would agree with me that you are actually expressing the conflict in this e-mail, I think I must be starting to trust you more? That's how you start it?
NICOLE: Yeah, I know, and that makes me really angry because it's like there's so much manipulation going on from Allison telling me to trust him and then you're on my mind as much as you usually are. That was another tactic that they used. Like, constantly Allison would tell me to reach out to Keith, blah, blah, and you could never get him off your mind because it was supposed to be like The Vow and all these things, like, you're thinking about him all the time with readiness. It just makes me angry now because it's so much manipulation.
MR. AGNIFILO: I'm really just asking you about what --
MR. AGNIFILO: What you wrote to --
THE COURT: Wait. What were you going to say?
THE COURT: Go ahead.
MR. AGNIFILO: Well, I'm asking what you're communicating to Keith. You're sending an e-mail that you know Keith is going to receive; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And the e-mail that you know Keith is going to receive has you saying, "I think I must be starting to trust you more. You're on my mind as much as you always are, which is quite often, but now I'm actually letting myself miss you."
You know Keith is going to get that e-mail and you're sending him that e-mail; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: You say so, yeah, that is my long-winded way of saying I miss you," right? You said that to him? That's what you wrote?
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you remember where you were when you wrote this?
MR. AGNIFILO: "And that I'm looking forward to seeing you this coming week and that I'm thinking of you as you make the hard decisions you're faced with from until on Monday." Do you know what's going to happen on Monday? You're writing this on Saturday.
MR. AGNIFILO: Now, I think you said on direct examination that while you were in a relationship with Keith you had often sent him loving messages.
MR. AGNIFILO: So, in -- we'll use time periods. So, in the fall of 2016, the winter of '16 into '17, the spring of 17, and then sort of tapering off like in the early part of the summer 2017, during that period of time, you had very often sent him loving messages; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: At different parts during that general time period.
MR. AGNIFILO: You called him "love"? You referred to him as "love"; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: You would call him love and you would send hearts in the -- did you communicate by WhatsApp? Is that how you communicated?
NICOLE: WhatsApp. Yeah, for a while text messages or WhatsApp or Telegram. I don't know. I didn't keep track of all those. I send a lot of hearts to everyone.
MR. AGNIFILO: And you often would ask him if you could come sleep in the library; correct?
NICOLE: Yes. So, Allison had given me -- so I was supposed to ask Keith, like, when it was best for me to come up to Albany, like, and I was supposed to ask when I could stay in the library. And, to be honest, sometimes it was better -- I could actually sleep in the library because it was dark and I didn't have a bed in Allison's house. So if I slept in Allison's house, after a while, I wouldn't sleep in her bed, but I would sleep on the floor. So the library, between those two options, was sometimes better.
MR. AGNIFILO: And you agree that prior to when you would come to Albany to sleep in the library, you very often would ask Keith what his schedule was so that you could spend time together, you and him in the library?
NICOLE: No. As I just said, Allison would tell me, like, you need to come up but you ask Keith what his preference is, what his scheduling preference is, and it wasn't library time. It was like, oh, I still thought maybe that they were going to be working with me to become a better artist and, like, the walks about, like, psychology and stuff like that. So, Keith was supposed to be this person that knew all this stuff. Like, at times I did want to walk, go on a walk, and, like, find out if any -- you know, like I would learn anything that would help me in my life. Like, at that time, that's what I thought.
MR. AGNIFILO: And you and Keith went on a lot of walks; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And very often Keith would be the one to ask you if you were free or willing to go on a walk; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: And then sometimes you would ask Keith if he was free and willing to go on a walk; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: And aside from walks, there were times when you explicitly asked Keith to have intimate contact with him?
MR. AGNIFILO: Yes. You would send him messages and you would explicitly say that you wanted to have sex with him?
MR. AGNIFILO: What's the one you're thinking of?
NICOLE: I just -- I thought that this was my future and that I was in an arranged-marriage situation, so I had been -- yeah, like, I was obviously, like, celibate during this whole time other than Keith, and, so, I don't know.
MR. AGNIFILO: So what's the message you're thinking of?
MS. PENZA: Objection, Your Honor.
MR. AGNIFILO: I'm not asking the date. What did you say?
MS. PENZA: Objection, Your Honor.
THE COURT: Sustained.
MR. AGNIFILO: No, no.
THE COURT: Sustained means don't answer.
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, can we have a quick sidebar?
THE COURT: No.
MR. AGNIFILO: You could only remember one time when you sent him a message asking him to have -- be intimate with you?
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you remember telling him that hot, rough sex --
MS. PENZA: Objection.
THE COURT: Sustained.
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, can we approach?
THE COURT: No.
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you remember sending him a WhatsApp message on May 30, 2017?
MR. AGNIFILO: I'm going to show just for the witness.
THE COURT: All right.
MR. AGNIFILO: First I want to show you the page with the date. This is just for the witness.
THE COURT: That is fine.
MR. AGNIFILO: May 30, 2017. Do you see that date? The message I am going to show you is on the next page. I'm trying to see if you see the date.
MR. AGNIFILO: Then this is the next page.
MR. AGNIFILO: Let me show you another page of this. Do you remember breaking your arm at one point?
MR. AGNIFILO: I'm just going to show you something. I am just going to ask you to look at it.
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you break your arm in the spring of 2017?
MR. AGNIFILO: Your left wrist; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: You broke your right wrist?
MR. AGNIFILO: Got you. Very good.
And I'm going to ask you again...
THE COURT: I'm sorry. He has to ask the question first.
Ask the question, please.
MR. AGNIFILO: Yes.
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you send him a message saying some hot, rough sex --
MS. PENZA: Objection.
THE COURT: Sustained.
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, could we please approach?
THE COURT: No.
Does this document refresh your recollection as to whether you offered to have sex with the defendant on that date?
THE COURT: Next question.
MR. AGNIFILO: You sent -- you sent Keith Raniere a number -- you had a WhatsApp account at the time?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you communicated with him by way of the WhatsApp; correct?
MR. AGNIFILO: All right.
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you give your WhatsApp messages to the Government?
MR. AGNIFILO: Did you delete your account at one point?
NICOLE: I don't think so. I deleted my Telegram because that was -- that was supposed to be just for The Vow when it was locked and I didn't want to have anything to do with it anymore, but I didn't delete my WhatsApp.
MR. AGNIFILO: Are these Telegram messages? Can you tell?
MR. AGNIFILO: Can you tell? You know Telegram?
MR. AGNIFILO: Okay. And did you communicate with Keith Raniere by Telegram?
NICOLE: I remember it mostly being WhatsApp, but it might have. I communicated with Allison over Telegram.
MR. AGNIFILO: And at one point you deleted your Telegram account?
MR. AGNIFILO: And you never gave those Telegram message to the Government?
NICOLE: Yeah. I was actually really bummed that I couldn't because I accidentally -- well, not accidentally. I purposely deleted the account. But I obviously didn't foresee any of this afterwards. I absolutely would have given it to them.
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, what I would like to do is can I give the witness these documents to sit with and see if this refreshes her recollection about this being the Telegram account that we are talking about?
THE COURT: Yes, you may.
MR. AGNIFILO: Thank you.
MR. AGNIFILO: Feel free. You can go through those.
MR. AGNIFILO: When I asked you which wrist you broke and I got the wrong one --
MR. AGNIFILO: -- you pointed out that you took a picture in a mirror. How did you know that?
NICOLE: Well, because how would I have taken it? Logic. I had the camera in my hand and took it of my broken wrist.
MR. AGNIFILO: You can hold it out and take it way. But you knew --
MR. AGNIFILO: But you knew -- you knew you took that picture of yourself in a mirror; right? That was you?
MR. AGNIFILO: And that was you taking a picture of yourself? You saw that; right?
MR. AGNIFILO: Are these your messages with Keith Raniere?
NICOLE: Some of these are, but it doesn't say my name at the top and it doesn't say like -- I don't know if every single one of them is from me. There's like a lot.
MR. AGNIFILO: Do you recognize what you said? Do you recognize things that you are describing?
MR. AGNIFILO: Your Honor, we offer these as exhibits for the defense to show the nature of the relationship.
THE COURT: Do you want to --
MS. PENZA: The Government objects.
THE COURT: The objection is overruled. No. I mean you're overruled. Sustained on the objection.
We can discuss it at lunch time.
MR. AGNIFILO: All right. Can we do it --
THE COURT: We can do it. But why don't you go to the next question.
MR. AGNIFILO: When did you delete your Telegram account?
MR. AGNIFILO: And --
NICOLE: It like kind of scared me. I don't know. I didn't want any bad vibes on my phone anymore.
MR. AGNIFILO: And when you deleted your Telegram account, you deleted all of your Telegram messages between you and Keith Raniere; right?
NICOLE: I guess. I didn't know that that's how it worked, but I just didn't want Telegram on my phone anymore.
MR. AGNIFILO: When you deleted your Telegram account, you didn't know you were deleting your Telegram messages with Keith Raniere?
NICOLE: I didn't ever want to see, blugh, messages with him again, or Allison, I was just skeeved out by the whole thing.
MR. AGNIFILO: So as a result, since you deleted your Telegram messages, you weren't able to give them to the Government; correct?